Get Well Paw Paw

The Hub's father will be 91 in a few months. 91 and he still lives alone and drives and entertains his 70-year-old-ish girlfriend. So it was no surprise when he toddled over backwards in his yard yesterday and broke his pelvis and shoulder. Ornery and stubborn on the subject of what to do next, at the hospital this afternoon, maudlin and doped up, he submissed and apologised for any number of things, his voice shaking with regret. A typical 1950s husband, he apologized to his late wife. To his sons. Later, his will slightly broken, still... he rallied, spitting and pissing in a desperate attempt to hold on to his power, not quite ready to relinquish his freedom.

Giggling with the nurses. Telling stories. Loving the attention. He will heal, I'm sure. If he keeps his good spirits. It's obvious he can't keep living the way he's been living, he'll have to decide. Where to go. How to finish off this aging. Interesting to think about how lucky he is. Lucky that he has a choice on how to go out. Great insurance. Smart savings. It will be up to him to decide what his end of life will be like. Hire a nurse in? Get a maid and a driver? Head out to a home close by? Move in with one of his boys? It might be a few months. It might be a few years, but the light is growing nearer by the minute.

Lucky that he has two sons who love him unconditionally despite his shortcomings. Lucky he has a grandson he won't live long enough to be disappointed by. Lucky he had a wife who kept her chin up and had a twinkle in her eye and didn't know better than to fall in love with him.

He is a good man, even if he wasn't always so good.

The Hub already knows, having lost one too many people he's loved. I can only imagine and hold hands and try not to be too prying and hug and wait and make the Bub smile so the Hub will smile. (The Hub is always smiling when the Bub smiles.) The Hub is lucky. When it is his time to go, he will not be wondering if he did enough, if he loved enough. There will be no questions or regrets. He will already know.